Flirting is a fun, casual way of trying to attract someone, or arouse s* interest, without serious intentions. Simply flirting for the thrill alone is acceptable as long as both participants are comfortable, but when does flirting become “trying too hard?” It’s one thing to casually graze a woman as you head to the bathroom, but it’s another thing to place your hands in between her legs. Playing it cool and casual is the best way to get your message across, without leading anyone on.
Don’t be too aggressive. Touching the small of her back is one thing, but forcefully pulling her close when you see a man ogling her from across the bar will come off as controlling and possessive.
Do use the power of touch. During conversation, gently and subtly placing your hand on her knee lets her know that you’re interested in what she’s saying. Softly touch her shoulder while laughing if she tells a silly joke.
Do get close. When you’re in a crowded room, it’s very easy to move closer to her without seeming desperate. If you’re in a busy restaurant and someone is seated behind you, don’t hesitate to scoot closer.
Don’t get too close. Stay at arm’s length. If you’re any closer, she may take it as an invasion of personal space. If she moves back, you should too.
Do make eye contact. While listening to her talk, hold her gaze for no more than three seconds. This lets her know that you’re listening, and it also shows that you’re confident in yourself.
Don’t stare. If you’re staring at her for longer than three seconds, don’t be surprised if her demeanor changes. Long stares can make anyone feel uncomfortable. Keep it short and sweet.
Do copy behavior. When we’re interested in someone, we typically begin to copy their behavior. For example, if she takes a sip of her drink, take a sip of yours.
Don’t be a mirror. It’s likely that she’ll catch on if you copy every single move she makes, and it’s unlikely that she’ll be flattered if you follow her to the ladies’ room. Keep it natural and subtle.
When it comes to flirting, the most important advice is to act natural and be who you are. Don’t laugh until you snort uncontrollably every time he tells a joke, and don’t give off too many “s*l” vibes, or else you may give the wrong impression. The more you flirt, the better you’ll become at it. Just remember that flirting is harmless and fun. Leading someone on is not.
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